AFTERMATH

to be sincere with myself i think i have resigned from social life due to the constant frustrations generated by my closest cronies and iam looking forward to doing something else that will keep me busy,,iam not fully conscious why iam so deeply sad but i think it is because i have nobody to love out side my tribe,sometime we lie about ourself and hurt our self even when it is not necessary no wonder i will say that i dont need any communication,friendship,relationshhip and acquintances from anybody or anything,iam tired and i need to rest,iam tired,soo tired,very tired,i need to rest,yes? indeed i need a rest ,a rest is all what i need,for iam on the first lane ,so tired and so wasted inwardly i need it so much and whoever do not pardon me is an enemy of rest,iam down and i need to rest,if i dont rest i will collapse and perish like them,iam so,so,so,so,so,so, casted what the hell is eating me from inside?only GOD'S know,is it insanity?have i done anybody wrong?no ?i have been introvent right from the day of birth upto now,right from the time i was a boy upto manhood,this not me but a man who is in constant miseries and depressed i feel like i can end myself to eternity, why iam so like this i can no longer figure out why iam so sad,stresssed,and humiliated,i dont need any sympathy or empathy or pity for i have live and leaved my heart to follow my mind,oh GOD came to my rescue and run quick for i have run out of control i no longer think positively because iam an out law reject by the society and compelled to think and confess negative things about my self,go ,go,go,,go every body and leave me alone for i have never thought i would ever go to that extent ,those who drink heavily,those who takes hard drugs they do it cause they have nobody to tell their exploitation from this life,i yell,scream,trample,shed many tears cause iam down i cant stand on my heels,oh Jesus this not real but a world of hallucination and psychosis,i had a dream of keeping in touch with reality but now i have been touched by anathema,who in this world can feel my pain and suppression,only GOD'S know for HE is about to judge me and the world in HIS own wonderful word,i stand but i am fallen and so stranded ,oh,oh,oh,oh,oh, love where are you come and tell me why i have gone bathos ,its me ,its me your dull sheep in appraisal,i kick my docile heart and imbecile self image but its so indomitable,who the hell can holla me before my life turns into hollow ,hallo my dear and daring friends one of your unloved pal is weeping deeeply like single mother who have been robbed off her dear and loving son who she cherishes with all her detrmination,this sound so fictious because the facts of this life have been rapted away from me and i can no longer access them as i have always wanted in the coming life,i have been haunted by the spirit from my own people yes my own people ,if it was those days when the prophet used to be rampant and genine i would have gone to them to consult them what is happening before i dine with my fore fathers who enjoyed love,happiness,family,leisure and every bit and large part of their lives,iam galloping like figting horse and heaving like a cardiac and asmatic patient,last was the first and me i was no where to be seen till i slept and i saw a vision and afiend dreams which were more than i could bear both in my body,soul and mind ,i become so angry with the reality for life was rallying so first that i could not catch up with it,i now hit and knock the wall of life with the bear hands but nothing is bleeding,why have men loved the blood of their fellow men so much ?a blood that they never created,who,who,who, can tell me the fathom and the width of this life,if the truth is foun in the either then i will call upon the air to smell peace and love and allow my soul to bellow a smoke of oneness and determination,and now i castigate for i have reached the end of the emotions boiling point,